Old friends and new days.

So, I've been feeling kinda old and wanted to talk to some of my old highschool friends. I started searching myspace, and google and classmates.com. I have been successful to a point. I found a friend I really wanted to see again, and seem to be blown off by once he saw my picture and found out a little bit about my life now. I have a friend who emailed my that I can't for the life of me remember. I have a very old friend, that I don't really want to see me the way I am now, not because there is feelings there but because I have low self esteem. When we try and go back to the past to see if we ever really had friends, is it a good thing? or are we only opening up old wounds that never really healed? I was not very pretty in school, or bright, or determined to be Anything really.
But as I look back, I looked better then, than now, but I have a better life now than, then. What a weird world we live in. I find myself thinking how wonderful I have it, my husband of 15yrs still loves me, I have two great kids. I'm not on welfare or close to it, I'm not renting, I have a good job that I'm good at. There are worse things than being overweight. But I guess the weight of it still falls on me. I will have to either live with it or do something about it.